Miss Daisy

Canine Reporter

Bernie, the Saint Bernard, sent me another email message, this time reporting about animals and the church. He is a saint and knows his Catholic Catechism:

“Animals are God’s creatures. He surrounds them with his providential care. By their mere existence they bless him and give him glory. Thus men owe them kindness. We should recall the gentleness with which saints like St. Francis of Assisi or St. Philip Neri treated animals … it is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly.”

Okay, now this outfit has gotten my attention.

1. St Francis of Assisi and St. Philip Neri started this movement.
2. Pope John Paul followed through on kindness for animals.
3. Pope Benedict was the German Shepard.
4. The Catholic Catechism that says men owe kindness and dignity to animals and
5. Pope Benedict cat’s sculpture in his garden.

I have decided! I am almost Catholic.

Any outfit that cares about animals this much has my vote. Furthermore, being a MENSA Dog, I might want to join a Church that promotes all the causes I report about.

After, I am accepted, I want to be a roving dog ambassador to the Vatican and promote a dog sculpture in the papal garden.

In addition, I would like to see the first Vatican Animal Rescue Shelter in my home town of Embarrass. MN and build more from there. Be first and be imitated by the other religions who haven’t yet shown much interest in kindness for animals…but that’s another story.

If other dogs join, I would sponsor flavored chewy dog wafers for communion to suit all the different tastes. These could be manufactured in Embarrass. MN and sold to dog shelters and humane societies for hope for unadopted dogs. Remember, ALL ROADS LEAD TO EMBARRASS, MN.

Now, don’t get me wrong because I don’t agree with everything the church says but the part about dogs turns me on and the opportunity to recognize the dignity in all creatures is a New Frontier.

I would also promote National Pets Day…and even include cats (UFF DA). Think about it, we have Valentines Day, Father’s Day, Mothers Day, Labor Day, and Whatever Day.

All pets would get a day off and parades would naturally follow except for cats that wouldn’t sit still.

The point I am trying to make is: Adopt a dog and be divine. You don’t really own a dog anyway, you rent them, and you have to be thankful that you had a long lease.

Dogs rule.

Comments and suggestions welcome.

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Miss Daisy
Canine Reporter

One of my best friends, Bernie the Saint Bernard, emailed me this morning about Pope Benedict’s visit to the U.S. and how the last two popes have sermonized about animal neglect. Bernie is naturally pro Catholic and alerts me to the latest news from the Vatican from where his loyalties emanate.

He reports that Pope John Paul II in 1990 stood in front of a public audience at the Vatican and spoke out about dog and pet neglect.

“Animals posses a soul and men must love and feel solidarity with our smaller brethren.”

Animals are the fruit of the creative action of the Holy Spirit and merit respect … they are as near to God as men are.”

Incidentally, Pope Benedict when he was ordained was nicknamed the German Shepard…another reference to the closeness to dogs as a symbol of devotion.

I have been casually following this pope between TV commercials and reported to The Dog Biscuit Gazette that Pope Benedict was fond of cats (Uff Da). I reported that he had a statue of a cat in the papal garden.

If he is so fond of animals, why not just come out and say what is ‘Dog’ spelled backwards and directly include us as divine also. After all, what is ‘Cat’ spelled backwards”? I rest my case.

Just because Bernie the St. Bernard is sainted doesn’t cover all 300 breeds of dogs. Besides Bernie doesn’t even know or remember why he is divine.

Now, I like cats (UFF DA) but in different way. In my hometown of Embarrass, MN they were necessary for catching rodents and rats. But they couldn’t pull a snow sled or carry a tune. Once in a while, they would rub up against you and purr, which is affectionate, but somewhat fickle.

If the Pope is willing to put a dog sculpture in the papal garden, I will lobby for a cat sculpture in Peterson’s Bar and Grille in Embarrass, MN. Remember, ALL ROADS LEAD TO EMBARRASS, MN. and this public relations  coup will negate any Lutheran backlash.

Why doesn’t the Pope get a dog or at least give us equal time with our own sculpture in his garden? We could fetch his slippers, carry his newspaper, and protect him against Lutherans.

The point I am trying to make is: Adopt a dog and be divine. You don’t really own a dog anyway, you rent them, and you have to be thankful that you had a long lease.

Comments and suggestions welcome

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Miss Daisy
Canine Reporter

It seems that the prefix ‘cat’ (Uff Da) is carelessly thrown around to include a range of definitions, i.e. catapult, catacomb, cataract, catch, catatonic, etc.

Even the word Catholic starts with this and I feel very uncomfortable with it because it focuses on a particular animal and ignores others…like dogs. My email friend, Bernie, the St. Bernard, informs me that there is even a ‘cat’ sculpture in the papal garden that shows discrimination for a favorite pet.

If this discrimination were true, I would ask if Pope Benedict is catatonic by being fixed, rigid, and immovable towards one pet or will he include his kindness to us dogs?

Now, I like cats (UFF DA) but in different way. In my hometown of Embarrass, MN they were necessary for catching rodents and rats. But they couldn’t pull a snow sled or carry a tune. Once in a while, they would rub up against you and purr, which is affectionate, but somewhat fickle.

Why doesn’t the Pope get a dog or at least give us equal time with our own sculpture in his garden? We could fetch his slippers, carry his newspaper, and protect him against Lutherans.

I am reluctant to mention this and I don’t want to start a controversy, but other religious leaders have expressed their love for the dog:

“I think God will have prepared everything for our perfect happiness. If it takes my dog being there [in Heaven], I believe he’ll be there.”
Rev. Billy Graham

To show ‘catholic’ or universal love for dogs, I would suggest an educational program from the Vatican for canine training by offering one good training idea for dog lovers everywhere.

You might call it: No Dog Left Behind and offer encouragement, training tips, and what great heroes dogs have been.

A training tip like: A good idea for greeting a dog is to make sure he is quiet and calm first. Show him your open palms when facing him and kneel down to his level because this is a friendly posture.

The point I am trying to make is: Adopt a dog and be divine. You don’t really own a dog anyway, you rent them, and you have to be thankful that you had a long lease.

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