Miss Daisy
Canine Reporter

It seems that the prefix ‘cat’ (Uff Da) is carelessly thrown around to include a range of definitions, i.e. catapult, catacomb, cataract, catch, catatonic, etc.

Even the word Catholic starts with this and I feel very uncomfortable with it because it focuses on a particular animal and ignores others…like dogs. My email friend, Bernie, the St. Bernard, informs me that there is even a ‘cat’ sculpture in the papal garden that shows discrimination for a favorite pet.

If this discrimination were true, I would ask if Pope Benedict is catatonic by being fixed, rigid, and immovable towards one pet or will he include his kindness to us dogs?

Now, I like cats (UFF DA) but in different way. In my hometown of Embarrass, MN they were necessary for catching rodents and rats. But they couldn’t pull a snow sled or carry a tune. Once in a while, they would rub up against you and purr, which is affectionate, but somewhat fickle.

Why doesn’t the Pope get a dog or at least give us equal time with our own sculpture in his garden? We could fetch his slippers, carry his newspaper, and protect him against Lutherans.

I am reluctant to mention this and I don’t want to start a controversy, but other religious leaders have expressed their love for the dog:

“I think God will have prepared everything for our perfect happiness. If it takes my dog being there [in Heaven], I believe he’ll be there.”
Rev. Billy Graham

To show ‘catholic’ or universal love for dogs, I would suggest an educational program from the Vatican for canine training by offering one good training idea for dog lovers everywhere.

You might call it: No Dog Left Behind and offer encouragement, training tips, and what great heroes dogs have been.

A training tip like: A good idea for greeting a dog is to make sure he is quiet and calm first. Show him your open palms when facing him and kneel down to his level because this is a friendly posture.

The point I am trying to make is: Adopt a dog and be divine. You don’t really own a dog anyway, you rent them, and you have to be thankful that you had a long lease.

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