Miss Daisy
Canine Reporter

One of my best friends, Bernie the Saint Bernard, emailed me this morning about Pope Benedict’s visit to the U.S. and how the last two popes have sermonized about animal neglect. Bernie is naturally pro Catholic and alerts me to the latest news from the Vatican from where his loyalties emanate.

He reports that Pope John Paul II in 1990 stood in front of a public audience at the Vatican and spoke out about dog and pet neglect.

“Animals posses a soul and men must love and feel solidarity with our smaller brethren.”

Animals are the fruit of the creative action of the Holy Spirit and merit respect … they are as near to God as men are.”

Incidentally, Pope Benedict when he was ordained was nicknamed the German Shepard…another reference to the closeness to dogs as a symbol of devotion.

I have been casually following this pope between TV commercials and reported to The Dog Biscuit Gazette that Pope Benedict was fond of cats (Uff Da). I reported that he had a statue of a cat in the papal garden.

If he is so fond of animals, why not just come out and say what is ‘Dog’ spelled backwards and directly include us as divine also. After all, what is ‘Cat’ spelled backwards”? I rest my case.

Just because Bernie the St. Bernard is sainted doesn’t cover all 300 breeds of dogs. Besides Bernie doesn’t even know or remember why he is divine.

Now, I like cats (UFF DA) but in different way. In my hometown of Embarrass, MN they were necessary for catching rodents and rats. But they couldn’t pull a snow sled or carry a tune. Once in a while, they would rub up against you and purr, which is affectionate, but somewhat fickle.

If the Pope is willing to put a dog sculpture in the papal garden, I will lobby for a cat sculpture in Peterson’s Bar and Grille in Embarrass, MN. Remember, ALL ROADS LEAD TO EMBARRASS, MN. and this public relations  coup will negate any Lutheran backlash.

Why doesn’t the Pope get a dog or at least give us equal time with our own sculpture in his garden? We could fetch his slippers, carry his newspaper, and protect him against Lutherans.

The point I am trying to make is: Adopt a dog and be divine. You don’t really own a dog anyway, you rent them, and you have to be thankful that you had a long lease.

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Miss Daisy
Canine Reporter

It seems that the prefix ‘cat’ (Uff Da) is carelessly thrown around to include a range of definitions, i.e. catapult, catacomb, cataract, catch, catatonic, etc.

Even the word Catholic starts with this and I feel very uncomfortable with it because it focuses on a particular animal and ignores others…like dogs. My email friend, Bernie, the St. Bernard, informs me that there is even a ‘cat’ sculpture in the papal garden that shows discrimination for a favorite pet.

If this discrimination were true, I would ask if Pope Benedict is catatonic by being fixed, rigid, and immovable towards one pet or will he include his kindness to us dogs?

Now, I like cats (UFF DA) but in different way. In my hometown of Embarrass, MN they were necessary for catching rodents and rats. But they couldn’t pull a snow sled or carry a tune. Once in a while, they would rub up against you and purr, which is affectionate, but somewhat fickle.

Why doesn’t the Pope get a dog or at least give us equal time with our own sculpture in his garden? We could fetch his slippers, carry his newspaper, and protect him against Lutherans.

I am reluctant to mention this and I don’t want to start a controversy, but other religious leaders have expressed their love for the dog:

“I think God will have prepared everything for our perfect happiness. If it takes my dog being there [in Heaven], I believe he’ll be there.”
Rev. Billy Graham

To show ‘catholic’ or universal love for dogs, I would suggest an educational program from the Vatican for canine training by offering one good training idea for dog lovers everywhere.

You might call it: No Dog Left Behind and offer encouragement, training tips, and what great heroes dogs have been.

A training tip like: A good idea for greeting a dog is to make sure he is quiet and calm first. Show him your open palms when facing him and kneel down to his level because this is a friendly posture.

The point I am trying to make is: Adopt a dog and be divine. You don’t really own a dog anyway, you rent them, and you have to be thankful that you had a long lease.

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Miss Daisy
Canine Reporter

I was watching my favorite TV show, Animal Planet, when I happened to surf during a commercial and watched Pope Benedict arriving in the U.S. for his address of the major moral issues of the day.

Unfortunately, during his historic visit to the United States this year, Pope Benedict XVI did not address the question of human responsibilities to animals and the environment. I was dismayed, disappointed, and dejected. What an opportunity missed.

As the leader of the Roman Catholic Church, with 66 million members in the United States, the pope speaks with force on the major moral issues of the day. He gave masses in Washington, DC, Yankee Stadium and met privately with the president in the White House to show his compassion for all mankind. The Catholic clergy followed his dictates and many millions of adherents paid close attention to his declarations.

However, it may come as a surprise to many but Benedict has commented on factory farms, and on several occasions, the importance of protecting animals and the natural world. Similar statements from the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops and the Catholic Catechism corroborate his statements.

The pontiff addressed his concern for animals and the environment in his annual statement for the Vatican World Day of Peace, delivered on the first day of this year. “Respecting the environment,” he said, “means not selfishly considering [animal and material] nature to be at the complete disposal of our own interests.”

Did you know the pope has a cat? Chico is his name, and a biography about the pope, entitled, “Joseph and Chico,” was written from his perspective. In a passage, Chico describes the animal-friendly Pope:

“Do you know how I know he is friends of us cats? Because in his garden he has a sculpture that represents one of us cats.”

Now, I like cats (UFF DA) but in different way. In my hometown of Embarrass, MN they were necessary for catching rodents and rats. But they couldn’t pull a snow sled or carry a tune.

Why doesn’t the Pope get a dog or at least give us equal time with our own sculpture in his garden? We could fetch his slippers, carry his newspaper, and protect him against Lutherans.

We could keep him company in the Popemobile for scenic rides and provide excitement for him at the dog races. (Get Chico to do that.)

Perhaps for his next visit he will focus more on animal cruelty, abandoned pets, and dog fighting. (Also, I would be happy to give him a tour of Embarrass MN.)

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